Death of Pop Royalty.

Hopefully with the passing of arguably the most successful entertainer of all time this tortured sould will finally be left to rest in peace. It's hard to imagine that Michael Jackson, who has reportedly died after suffering a cardiac arrest in his home, would have even described his own life as a happy one. After the delay of the opening dates for his highly anticipated comeback performance in London it appears the 'Final Curtain' has closed before it was allowed to open.

The performing artist was launched into superstardom at the age of 11 with the Jackson 5 and became renown as the 'King of Pop' in the subsequent years of his solo career. A pioneer of the MTV generation it was Jackson's contribution that mused the line 'video killed the radio star'.

It's a shame that the African-American recording artist's career was always overshadowed by an allegedy abusive father, evolving facial dimensions, reclusive and bizarre behaviour, and multiple allegations of child molestation.

I was recently unable to submit my vote for Triple J's Hottest 100 of all time without including one of his songs. It's not one of the one's, like Billy Jean, Thriller or Beat It, that you'd expect. It was a tune reminiscent of a childhood spent performing choreographed dance routines for babysitters. I don't even consider myself a fan of Michael Jackson. It goes to show the reach of the influence of this individual.

Admittedly the Jackson camp had already began to exploit his previous glory with the reissue of the Thriller 25 last year but I am not looking forward to the profiteering that is guaranteed to follow his demise.

Is it too soon to be asking what's going to happen with Jackson's music catalog holdings? The rights to those Beatles tracks could've been in a lot worse hands.

Worth a punt?

Oz Lotto is still looking for a winner after no-one claimed the highest first-division prize pool offered in the history of the national lottery game. By the time of the draw last night the advertised jackpot of $50 million had risen to $59,295,155 due to strong sales. Australian's wasted $87 million attempting to secure the prize. With a single game costing only $1.10, it wouldn't have been a bad return for the one in forty five million chance of winning. Tattersalls reported that the Tuesday night draw attracted 79 million entries.

I detest gambling. I see it as just another of the many vices that people use to fulfill their bleak and otherwise futile existances. I would hope that the day that I actually have disposable income that I would find more charitable or altuistic means to spend it. The idea of somebody handing me the golden ticket that would provide me with $60 million horrifies me. What would I do with that much money? Besides have a breakdown that would result in me retreating to the wilderness and preforming a self-lobotomy next to the warmth of a polymer banknote fueled bonfire. I really don't see the benefit of these lottery draws with all the social inequality and wealth distributions that exist on this planet.

There is no doubt the lottery officials will already be discussing how much money will should guaranteed to ensure a record jackpot for next week and record sales to accompany it. I suggest that you take your $1.10 and stick it where the sun don't shine. It's just as likely to make you happier.

Who the F%#@ is Alice?

I've never needed an excuse to revisit the Lewis Carroll classics after the afternoons I spent in the garden of The Trout Free House in Wolvercote with the ducks and peacocks amidst the pages of Wonderland. But if I did then the production stills published by USA Today of Tim Burton's interpretation of Through the Looking Glass would have been quite adequate.

With just over eight months before the release, expected March 5 2010, the released stills suggest we have one hell of a ride down the rabbit hole to look forward to. The 'Burton-ization' of this classic will no doubt stir some criticism from the traditionalists who favour Sir John Tenniel's illustrations. The film, now in post-production after shooting was completed in December, marks the seventh time Burton has collaborated with Johnny Depp. If the promotional character stills released by Disney after anything to go by, Depp's portrayal of the Mad Hatter will challenge my interpretation of the eccentric tea-guzzler. However, it will allow me to hopefully extend my habitual, after one too many liptons of course, riddling of "why is a raven like a writing desk?" to a much larger audience.

Helena Bonham Carter's contribution as the Red Queen will also see completion of her fifth collaboration with Burton. Hopefully after the The Demon Barber of Fleet Street the media will able to focus less on the couple's domestic situation or more on the performance of this award winning actress.

The question 'who the F%#@ is Alice?' came to mind when I first heard the name Mia Wasikowska but the stills look great and I certainly won't be questioning Burton's casting. Not to mention that the 19-year-old was born and raised in Canberra. Having another A-list Aussie celebrity can only be a good thing right?

Have a gander for yourself: http://www.usatoday.com/life/movies/news/2009-06-21-alice-in-wonderland_N.htm and http://www.comingsoon.net/news/movienews.php?id=56475

No time for dick-jokes.

While I'm quite partial to the occasional dick and fart joke, this actions of Tim Orchard on the weekend provided the latest development in the appalling acts of misconduct that have plagued all codes of football this year.

The transgression, exposing himself live on ABCTV Saturday afternoon, was dismissed by club president Richard Mulligan as just "one of those impulse things". Somehow the innability of a 22-year-old male to resist the impulse flash his genitals to a national audience of all ages is something that this 'football club culture' deemed neither serious nor criminal. I wonder if the response would have been different had he been lurking around a primary school in an overcoat.

It's fair to say that it's been a very bad year for footballers and innapropriate off-field conduct. Just this week a former NRL star, Greg Bird, was convicted for 'glassing' his girlfriend. Ironically enough Bird belonged to the Cronulla Sharks whose notoriety this year has been the result of the Matthew John's 'group-sex scandal' rather than on-field accomplishments. If memory serves correctly it was also the club's CEO, Tony Zappia, who resigned for allegedy punching a female employee. Whilst the Sharks misdemeanours are plentiful it is unfortunate that the memory does not have to extend very far to recall the trangressions of individuals from all codes.

What is it about the culture associated with football clubs in Australia that produces and legimitises this sort of behaviour? How is it possible that these institutions, that our society deems acceptable to leave young children with, are capable of nurturing athleticism while failing to nurture character.

Growing up in Melbourne I was exposed to this club culture at a very young age and personal experience lead me to migrate away from Australian Rules towards other team sports. I can't say I experienced the anti-social or sexist mentality that seems common today but there was a ripe and overwhelming sense of homophobia that was equally correlated with strangely homoerotic behaviour.

At the end of the day the players are the club responsibility. You would hope that these adults, considered to be role models, would be capable of distinguishing right from wrong and moderating their behaviour accordingly but history would suggest otherwise. Sure, they're human and capable of making mistakes but something needs to change. That's why it's down to the club.

If you consider any athelete, the amount of hours that can be spent training and performing does not sufficiently occupy the hours of the day. If you were a football club investing a lot of time and money into an individual it is common sense that you would not want their behaviour the compromise their performance or the integrity of the club. Why don't clubs spend more time developing the character of their players? If you were to weigh up the cost that these acts of misconduct against the cost of public speaking classes, leadership programs and ethical/rational dicision making classes it seems like a worthwhile investment. Think of it as a 'finishing-school' for footballers.

A lying politician? Why, I never!

A spokesperson for the Australian Federal Police has just confirmed our greatest fears... the email at the centre of the OzCar scandal is fraudulent. The unwavering faith that all Australian's have in the integrity of our politicians has just been delivered a blow that may never recover. It appears Mr Godwin Grech, Principle Adviser of the Treasury, is in deep doodoo after Federal Police executed a search warrant at his Canberra home. I wait with bated breath to see if the political process will be able to continue to function in Parliament question time in just over half an hour.

Is anyone else mildly appalled at the 'utegate'? It's soo phonetically unnatractive.

The Stig is who?

I know that I don't want to know. Unfortunately I'm the kind of person who knows that when they don't want to know something but the idea of not knowing when other people know is unbearable enough to make we want to know.

An audience member present at the filming of the first episode of the thirteenth season of Top Gear is reported to have claimed that Michael Schumacher was revealed as the Stig.

If you were so inclined, I'm sure you could track the travel patterns of the former Formula One driver to establish the possibility of this being true but with the episode to due to go to air on BBC1 this Saturday in the UK it's surely not worth the effort.

It's too soon. I do wish that they had leaked this information (or an alternative) a month ago. A conspiracy theory needs time you build momentum, you see?

I still don't want to know. And this Saturday is too soon! Sure the antics of Clarkson and incredible writers of this show will remain brilliant, but you are taking something from me.

Check it out: http://jalopnik.com/5294802/the-stig-is-michael-schumacher?skyline=true&s=x

And briefly while we're on the topic of Top Gear... Who is allowing the quagmire that is the second season of Top Gear Australia to continue? The first wasn't enough? I was mortified to accidently stumble (with my fingers in the direction of the '3' button on my remote) across Steve Pizzati and Warren Brown Monday night. They were in the middle of challenging a guest, jazz legend James Morrison, to contribute something worthy of the primetime television slot they hold. Just stop it, please.

End of the e-criminal.

I am admittedly not the most tech-savvy bloke in the world. The closest act to piracy that I've commited was the borrowing of a neighbours dinghy without their knowing one afternoon a few summers ago.

And after the $2.35 million(AUD) fine handed out by an American federal jury this week for the illegal downloading of music($99,230 per song) I think I'll keep my criminal behaviour within the constraints Port Phillip Bay.

Those poor fellows a couple of months ago convicted for facilitating the breach of copyright laws in the Pirate Bay Trials are due to spend a year behind bars (pending the appeals) and expected to fork out $4.34million(AUD).

It appears a court of law will tend to deliver fairly harsh punishments for e-crimes. It seems that they're getting better all the time at policing the e-laws. Just typing this I am already becoming paranoid about my habitual acquisition of WiFi (I'd go into the MacDonalds if the past didn't suggest that I'm more likely to have a pleasant experience from the comforts of my car in the parking lot with a banana). I hope they don't throw the e-book at me.

That being said I'm now going to head home to watch a copy of 'The Godfather' that the gentleman in Vietnam assured was the genuine article. I didn't meet him myself, but I'm told he seemed like an upstanding citizen and didn't even wear an eyepatch.